The Gentle Art of Developing a Screen-Free Life
Making room for Jesus in a world reigned by technological distractions
Writing with Jesus is a reader-supported publication where laughter is found, tears are shed, and faith is made steadfast. Writings on wrestling with God, motherhood, and some comedy to lighten the mood.
The sun shown in through the creases between the blinds and the windows. The room was dim. It was quiet. A few songbirds whistled nearby. The baby, praise the Lord, was still asleep. I checked my watch for the time, tapping the light button to reveal the boxy numbers in a glowing baby blue.
Lord Jesus, if there are any dreams you would like me to remember, please bring them to mind. Thank you for this day. Please give me everything I will need for today. I love you, I prayed.
With my husband also still peacefully in his dreams, I tiptoed around him and grabbed my Bible and Secret Place journal to go outside in the morning light. Opening the camper door and stepping delicately onto the steep metal steps, I walked barefoot to a lounge chair.
There is something about mornings, don’t you think? As if the world is just quiet enough to hear your own thoughts and the sound of God’s voice, just still and unmoving enough for God’s presence to dance all around you.
We recently took a camping trip in my in-law’s backyard on the coast of Florida. It was a lot more fun than it sounds, I swear. Minutes from the beach, right outside their pool, we spent our days being sun-kissed, sand-covered, and salt-laden, our skin bronzing in glow from our Filipino and Italian roots. We swam, kayaked, strolled the local zoo, had fresh seafood, and windy date nights overlooking the water. My baby girl’s hair even seeming to grow just a touch lighter into this sweet caramel blonde hue.
My screen time was at an all-time low. And while we did whip out our phones to take a few pictures here and there, we relied mostly on my film camera and making memories.
Before I married and moved in with my husband, I never owned a television in my adulthood. Well, briefly I had a small one that I won in a raffle, but only my freshman year college roommate used it until eventually the remote was lost, a DVD got stuck inside, and I found it un-useful. I eventually placed it out on the curb to be picked up by any ole stranger or trash person. And since then, had blissfully enjoyed playing old vinyl records on the record player in the evenings after work, catching up on all the unread books on my bookshelves, calling friends or relatives for a chat if I had it in me, learning to cook, to bake, and doing arts and crafts when the inspiration struck. In the mornings I’d listen for birds, go for a walk, pray, read the Word, journal.
It wasn’t that I was against television and catching up on all the latest shows. My lack of such technology started out mostly because I was a full-time college and then graduate student, and full-time worker. There just wasn’t much time left over to rest and watch a show or a movie. Not if I also wanted to maintain my social life and friendships, and sleep. And the greatest barrier of all was really that I was broke. I was a stickler even about groceries and gas money, so a new television was just out of the question.
But I enjoyed my simple life. And those years without various forms of technology other than my cellphone and my beat-up old laptop for school formed habits and pleasantries that I cling to even now.
I recently finished reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. Needless to say, it changed my life. I’ll be publishing a Spring 2025 Book Review for Jesus Lovers soon, but until then all I can say is, please read it. He talks at length about this topic and how it relates to the chronic restlessness, burnout, and lukewarm Christianity infecting our world.
While reading it, the conviction from the Lord to get off my phone had never been stronger. The discernment from the Holy Spirit that the enemy was trying to distract me from the life right in front of me, never clearer. God wanted more of me. He wanted my dull moments where I was tempted to scroll. He wanted the first moments of my day where I was tempted to check my notifications. He wanted the last minutes of my day to speak to me and rest in Him. And for Pete’s sake He wants my quiet time in the Word and in prayer with Him to be consecrated and holy, not interrupted by calls and texts.
I know that values around screen time for us and our little ones is different for everyone. And who am I to judge the stressed-out single mom scrolling her phone at the bookstore whose children are jumping around with loud voices in the kid section? Or the overstimulated parent who throws on Bluey at the end of the day in order to clean up a messy kitchen?
But there are simple ways we live around here in our little home tucked away in the Sunshine State of Florida. It’s not for everyone, but it works for us, and that’s okay.
It looks as simple as a young married couple who don’t have social media on their phones, or social media accounts at all. A husband and wife who spend their evenings chatting away over wine, tea, or milk and cookies until the late-night hour demands for them to get ready for bed.
It looks like sleeping in a separate room than my phone.
It looks like a baby following you around your home while you do chores, pausing often to soothe a cry, to pick up their chunky body for a whiny hug, propping them on your hip and mastering your tasks one-handed, re-folding several pieces of clean laundry, and picking magnets up off the floor in the kitchen.
It looks like books and a reading light on the nightstand to close the day with, and a wife reading a page or two to her husband before praying together and saying goodnight.
It looks like jazzy ambiance videos of beaches and gardens and cozy bookish homes on the living room TV throughout the day.
It looks like going on clumsy walks with baby girl to wave hi to the ducks and birds, picking wildflowers and putting them in one another’s hair, and making tiny bouquets to bring home.
It looks like scribbling with crayons before dinner, cozied up on the couch with a stack of board books before bed, a film camera that awaits with hopeful surprises, and an old school watch on your wrist to catch the time.
There are small sacrifices, too, ones we are willing to accept.
Like the baby, almost toddler, crying in the car as you count down the minutes until you arrive at your destination, the chores which seem to multiply when you have a little one following you around and fussing that they do not have your undivided attention.
Like a watch that can’t tell you how many calories you’ve burned or how deep you slept last night or when you get a text.
Like an overflowing inbox of unread text messages that sometimes bring a layer of guilt (but the reminder remains, we were never designed to be this accessible).
Like not knowing anything about the latest TV shows and movies that seem to have captured the attention of most of your peers.
And naturally, we are not perfect at this. When I work from home, sometimes I can hear my husband catching up on a baseball game during baby girl’s naptime. When he works late into the night, sometimes I pull up a YouTube lifestyle video of some Christian influencer while I do arts and crafts on the coffee table. We Facetime daddy on his long days at work and a grandparent who is out of town. On Fridays I play podcasts that have helped me extraordinarily in my faith while I care for our baby. And after all, I did have to sit down on my laptop after I put my daughter to sleep to write this article.
But we are at peace in this lifestyle. We live our quiet life. There is more room for Jesus to move, more opportunities for the Holy Spirit to speak, more undistracted moments with my baby girl where I think, so this is the Father’s love.
And while my husband finishes The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, we are excited to plan how we will implement a true screen-free Sabbath. 24-hours of phones off, unplugged, and tuned in. To our Maker, our Helper, and our Healer. To one another. To our beloved squishy daughter who will surely have only grown more by next week.
How has the Lord convicted you about screen usage, Reader? Or how has your life improved upon trading technology for God’s presence?
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He guide you in leading a quiet life, setting your eyes on things above and not things on this earth, training you not to be conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewing of your mind.1 Amen.
Katie Donohue Tona
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” Matthew 6:22-23
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1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, Colossians 3:2, Romans 12:2
I deleted all social media from my phone at the start of the year and it has been such a blessing. So much lost time recovered. I find myself more present with friends, I prioritise going outdoors and just enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. I have been convicted recently to buy a camera to capture moments.
Love this girl! That book was the catalyst for change in our family too. I've been without a smartphone for over three years and I'll never regret that decision. The family Sabbaths—I pray are a life giving space for all of you as they have been for us.