Are You Too Soft for Evangelism?
Crying, sharing the Gospel, and spiritual gardening
Writing with Jesus is a reader-supported publication where laughter is found, tears are shed, and faith is made steadfast. Writings on wrestling with God, motherhood, and some comedy to lighten the mood.
My husband and I are big plant people. However, our little 900 something square foot condo gives us only enough space to jungle-ify the spaces by the windows. Almost every morning, Ryan makes his way around our little home, watering each plant with a delicate hand. We rejoice at the sight of a new growth or bloom and share in disappointment when a plant begins to wither and decay.
We dream of a garden one day, where we can scatter seeds to witness a cut flower patch grow, grow fruit trees and seasonal vegetables in garden beds. I look forward to making homegrown flower bouquets for friends and our kitchen table, of cooking and baking with herbs and delights grown with our own hands.
It will take patience, I’m sure. And the diligent pursuit in creating something beautiful. There will be seasons of deadness and seasons of blooms. But as aspiring gardeners, it’s a task we are willingly up for.
I recently got a word of knowledge from the Lord about someone in my life who doesn’t want anything to do with Jesus. The Holy Spirit told me something I had no business knowing about their past. Something so, so, specific, that I almost doubted it could possibly be correct. Well, to my surprise, it was. And this person, at just the mention of Jesus, at just the mutter of the word “God”, shakes their head and says, “No”.
“I just don’t understand…,” I said to a confidant, tears unexpectedly welling up in my eyes, “I can’t wrap my head around how someone could hear the Gospel, hear about this love that’s offered to them and…say no.” My face was warm and wet. My voice cracking and shaking as I tried to release my words.
“Even in my most worldly state, I would go to church on Sunday by myself and listen. I was intrigued by the Gospel. And…it just doesn’t make any sense to me,” I said.
“It’s a good thing that you’re heartbroken over this,” was all they said. “I’m sure it doesn’t feel very good. But it’s good.”
Heartbreak, I thought. That does seem like a fitting word to describe this feeling. But why would I be heartbroken over someone rejecting Jesus? That doesn’t make any sense. Unless… it’s Christ in me. It’s His heart breaking.1
“I need to get thicker skin when it comes to evangelizing,” I said.
“No, this is probably right where you should be. I think it comes down to, do you trust the Lord with these people?”
Do I trust that the Lord waters the seed that He leads me to plant? Do I trust that the Lord is far more desiring of them to follow Him than I am? Do I trust that His heart is broken too, for all the people He so loves and desires to rescue and redeem that want nothing to do with Him. Why, I must. I must.
I reflect on my own story. How many seeds were planted until I finally surrendered my life to Jesus? My goodness probably hundreds, maybe thousands.
How many supernatural experiences, miracles even, where the Lord was clearly trying to get my attention, and I turned away. I regret to say, too many.
How many people saw this hippie girl with crystals on her necklaces showing up to the campus ministry events in college and church on Sundays for years and were sad (or maybe even judgmental) at how lost and seemingly hopeless I was? I’m not sure I want to know.
And here was God, the most patient gardener, watching me, never leaving me all those years, watering the seeds every morning (his mercies are new every morning)2, watching me wither and bloom, wither and bloom, knowing that the crows (demons) were attacking me and eating seeds up and deceiving me to keep me as far away from the Truth and His love as possible.3
And me, a chief of sinners, of whom I was one of the worst,4 know painfully, intimately, how agonizing it can be to give your life to Christ. How quickly you lose everything you have ever used to survive this broken and sin-cursed world, how instantly you lose even the people you care for or love. Yes, giving your life to Jesus and following in His righteous ways means turning it upside down, but in doing so, your life is turned right side up, though it might not feel like it at the time.
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25
“I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him.” Philippians 3:7-9
So, are we too soft for evangelism? Perhaps. And perhaps that’s okay. Perhaps it’s better to be closer to the heart of Jesus than thump a Bible like a Pharisee. Perhaps it’s better to weep for the lost, than judge and condemn others with the proud. Perhaps I would rather get to the end of my life and say that I lived to abide in Him and glorify Him, that I knew Him, I really knew Him, than list any works I ever did for the Lord.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.” John 15:4-8
We have a potted snake plant that just grew a stalk of soon-to-be blooms. I’ve had that snake plant since I was 19 years old, for nearly ten years now. I’ve watched it completely die and come back to life multiple times. I even named it “Little Laz” after Lazarus who was raised from the dead in the Gospels. It’s our only plant with a name. And when I saw a bright green stalk with little bulbs, I didn’t know what to make of it.
After a bit of research, I learned that it’s a pretty rare event. Snake plants are not known for growing blooms. They even have to go through a season of dryness and drought to initiate the development of a stalk that will produce flowers. Our orchids bloom seasonally as do many perennials. And bougainvillea seem to bloom just about year-round here in Florida. But now I’m wondering how many people are like Little Laz.
How many people in your life are you convinced would never want to know Jesus, perhaps even someone you’ve known for years or decades, someone you’ve given up hope on ever having a true relationship with the Lord, and the Lord is beckoning you to wait, to plant, re-plant, water, and watch.
Something beautiful is growing beneath the surface that we can’t see. Blooms are coming. The Master Gardener, in His great and powerful steadfast love and pursuit, is mightily at work. Indeed, He is patient and more than willing. A New Eden awaits. If only we stay soft, stay compassionate, obedient, bold, and shine His light of love. We might never see the harvest, but a good and faithful servant I hope to be, nonetheless.
Katie Donohue Tona
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“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Galatians 2:20
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.’” John 14:23
Lamentations 3:22-23
“Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up… The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.” Mark 4:3, Mark 4:14-15
1 Timothy 1:15
i love how the snake plant reminded u of God♡ it's such a joy when He gives us the little things in life and they remind us of Him. the quote "God is seeking you, every sunset, every clear blue sky, ever ocean wave, the starry host of night. He blankets each day with the invatation 'I am here' ~ Louise Giglio
This is beautiful. Thank you for the reminder of the patient Gardener -- I know so many people who seem to have no interest in God, no matter what, but it doesn't mean that the seeds planted don't have chance to grow.